Wednesdays blood tests results were ready when I saw the oncologist Thursday: He said there was a slight improvement in the HB levels and I was able to go ahead with the chemo session. That was good news to say the least: I was dreading getting there and being told we could not do the session - the chemo is a lifeline!

I was warned that if the HB levels were bad they might have kept me in hospital to give the transfusion there and then. What was worse was that it can take hours and hours to do the transfusion - I don't know why - I might have been there overnight with the chemo being delayed whilst they checked the bloods again. All in all, a consequence I did not want. Anyway, it did not happen and the session went quite well.

The next thing on the agenda is a CT scan and more blood tests in about 3 weeks time. These will give me further information as to whether the cancer is beating a hasty retreat and also plan the next treatment cycle from there. The oncologist takes into account such things as blood tests, CT scans and my body's reaction to chemo sessions in deciding the next round of treatment. He thought from my reactions that there was nothing in there to prevent more chemo. Other things need to be investigated.

Sarah and I are going to see if we can have a few days away from home somewhere local to have a change of scenery and a bit of a break. We need ideally to try and find somewhere that enables me to crash out if needs be but also gives Sarah chance to occupy herself with things she might want to do. We both need to look at something different than our four walls! The planning is a bit more complex than normal as we have our 3 birdies to consider! Murphy is still wary of me - he is the eldest African Grey. Lily the youngest Grey seems to be discovering me and Jasper the Black Headed Caique is no different - just noisy!

Isn't the weather miserable? I took my camera out one afternoon last week and really enjoyed myself (but over did it). I want to get out again with the camera in some decent weather when it is not windy, raining and cold. It's strange but the cancer makes me feel the cold so much more than I ever have done!

Anyway, thank you all for your comments and support.

I'll be back!

Time flies - I am coming up to my third chemo session this thursday. I have the blood tests later on today, I see the oncologist first thing thursday and if he is happy with the bloods, chemo will follow later in the morning. After this chemo session I have a break and more tests to see how the chemo has worked. Assuming it has worked it might then be I have more chemo - or we change treatment. We shall see.

It does seem a long time that my wife and I decided to create this site - I had reservations but my wife thought it would be a good thing to share the experience if we can call it that. I have to say that I agree with her totally. Sometimes it has not been easy opening your soul in this way but I do somehow feel comforted in the sharing of all the experiences - good and bad. It has also taught me that people do care even if they feel embarassed to show it face to face: people do care if they take the time to read the stuff I write and, even more surprising, comment on it!! People are mainly good rather than anything else

I do not look forward to having the chemo - the side effects can be difficult - but I do look forward to seeing the results of the treatment. I have felt better since chemo number 2 but in the last few days I have been in some pain - that I hasten to add has been my own fault. I always do too much and also I tried to get a photograph from a difficult angle which twisted my back. Were it not for those things I would have felt marvellous - I was getting more mobility, sleeping better, better outlook and generally feeling good. It was my own fault so now I know I must pace myself very strictly and the moment I start to feel tired etc I shoud stop say "Enough" and then rest for a while.

I had a very enjoyable day yesterday: I met up with a friend who I had not seen since University days - I was reminded that was 37 years ago. It was a long time. He got his degree at the same time as me. From there our lives were very different - he was in industry and travelled the world and I was in private practice not getting much further than the office!! However we did both enjoy our professional working lives. We both enjoyed the reunion and my one regret is that it will be difficult to maintain regular contact - he lives on mainland Europe. It was a great day and a pleasure to renew the friendship.

I seem to be rambling in this blog - so will finish now. Let you all know about the chemo.

I'll be back

Morning to you all out there. I have not been out and posted anything on the site for some time. I am putting this right now.

I told you about a week ago now that I had had the second chemo session. I have had more side effects this time. The sickness has been worse. The main problem has been the total, absolute, up to infinite and beyond, tiredness. I was tired after the first session but that was peanuts compared to what it has been like this time. I have fallen asleep everywhere and wherever. I have even fallen asleep while having a converstaion on the phone - the caller was not that boring! (and I don't think knew that I had). The callers voice woke me up!! - bizarre. I'll try not to drop to sleep now - if there is a long gap you will know what has happened so please don't be offended!! - whether you shout to wake me up I will leave to you.

Having said that I have felt loads better since the weekend. The pain is alot better. Dare I wonder and speculate that the chemo is working - I am sure it is. I intend to make sure that it does.

The next session is next week - thursday. I imagine that I will be more tired after that session than after the the second one. Oh well we can live with it.

Went out yesterday with my camera. Our neighbour is a keen photgrapher and he took his. We went to the local park and found a Nature Hide which consisted of one wall of planks of wood with observation holes overlooking a lake. We saw very little!! There was some large fish jumping which were impossible to photo unless you happened to be looking at the right place at the right time which we were'nt! so no pictures to bring home. It was a great time for me: it was the first time I have been out with my camera since I was given the diagnosis. I managed it and enjoyed it but I was tired out when I got home.

I like to think that the trip was a breakthough. It was a failure in terms of results but no matter. I shall do it again, whether before or after the next chemo session remains to be seen. Sarah was pleased. It was good of my neighbour to take me as I am not the quickest walker at the moment.

(Large Gap here - nodded off for 10 minutes or so)

I intend to keep going with things like this - your support is always in my mind and it always helps no end and I can feel another Gap coming on so I better sign off for the moment and get back to you all again shortly.

I'll be back

My God thats an original title! Anyway a short one tonight. My blood tests were good enough for me to have the second session. The haemoglobin was down to 9. something - it should be 12. something. So yes it is down : the Oncologist did warn me if that it dropped more he might have to do the transfusion. Any way he didn't today so I had the session.

There were some admin problems which we got over. I managed to take the chemical quicker this time than last so was done in 2 hours. That was good.

I have come home to see the messages of support from you guys - thanks to all of you. It is great to read them. They gave me strength. Yes we will fight this thing and we will get rid of it.

Will finish now as shattered so ..........I'll be back

Writing this on the 7 May having just got back from Hospital. I had to do a blood test for the chemo session tomorrow. This is the second session of Chemo. The blood test is needed to make sure that, in layman's terms, my blood (and I) are both strong enough to withstand another chemo onslaught. I will not know the answer to that until I see the Oncologist before the session as he will get the results.

How do I feel? Reassured by the messages of support here on the site and from elsewhere. Worried that my blood has not recovered enough from the first session so preventing having the second - I want to continue with the planned sessions to beat this thing. My own strength needs topping up with the additional Chemo ammunition. I have been warned that certain people do need blood transfusions in the Chemo cycle if the blood does not recover enough - it normally means a delay of a period of time. I do not want to be one of those people - I want to keep fighting it without pause. To know that the session is going ahead is a tremendous boost and lets more positive thoughts in. I am keeping everything crossed for good blood results.

I have not been sleeping well over the last few days: the back pain over the shoulder blades makes it hard to get comfortable. Lying in the wrong position makes it worse and wakes you up. Not having a good nights sleep is the pits. Everyone will agree I think that when you are tired, it is harder to deal with things. Get a good nights sleep and you can move mountains! Mind you today I am alot more comfortable so let us hope I crash out tonight: I could siesta this afternoon but I do not want to miss the lovely spring day.

I have also now retired - at the end of April - and so the question of income rears its head. I had to retire due to my ill health so this was inevitable. I am looking into Social Security assistance and the like but it is a bit of a worry. My pension does not kick in until I am 65 - a few years away yet!!

Shoot - I am depressing myself with this blog and I might even delete it yet but being down is something that does occur - it needs fighting against with all other troubles. Think positive. That is what I need to do and will do

What was I talking about a bit ago? Oh yes the Spring Day. It is a beautiful day here today. The sun shines, there is hardly a cloud in the sky. I can smell the Spring smells from the fields and countryside near us. We are fortunate here as just over the fence at the back of the garden is open countryside: you can hear the skylarks, smell the blossom from the trees. It feels good. I can also hear people cutting their lawns and catch the aroma of newly cut grass. I don't know about you but there are certain noises and smells that always evoke Spring & Summer - for me the noise of lawn mowers and the smell of freshly cut grass are a couple of those triggers. They get rid of the grey drab winter days. They encourage the positive thoughts, make you want to go outside and enjoy the feelings. I want to pick my camera up and walk over the fields and record it - only one trouble I cannot walk very well.

So we come back full circle. I want the Chemo session to get rid of this cancer so I can experience the changing seasons, get out and record the change and keep some of those changes if I can capture the images in a worthwhile way. So I say to myself now, my blood is strong and I will have the second chemo session and it will kill more of the cancer and I will get out there.

Yes I am posting this blog and ...... I'll be back