Not many people have asked how I feel mentally now that I know I have cancer. One or two have but not many. I think my reaction now after a bit of reflection is that I have to accept that I have it. If I don't accept that I have it, I can't fight that which I don't have.

My initial reaction was somewhere between absolutely total surprise and anger. Surprise that it is happening to me and anger that I could not stop it invading me. As I do this note I do not know what caused the cancer in the first place; whether I ever will find out remains to be seen.

I have periods of blank despair. I don't know what to do, I don't know what to think, I don't know how to react, I don't know how to move. It is as though the despair shuts you down. I guess that it is that despair which I have to get rid of to keep the positive thoughts, actions and drives in the forefront of my conscious and sub-conscious mind.

I do not know whether I am particularly religious. There have been times in my life when I have felt more faith and there have been times when I have had no faith. At the moment, I don't know where I am on this but I have to make a conscious thought and belief as I am going to be beat this thing and get better. Whether this is any different than being religious I do not know; if you have faith in getting better this might be the same thing as a belief in whatever religion you follow. I will no doubt have further thoughts and possibly discussions on this aspect.

I have recently read a book written by Lance Armstrong who is a professional cyclist who had cancer in the 1990s. The book is about his fight to beat the disease. He did beat it. What emerged from the book was his tremendous focus and determination on beating it and getting back on his bike. The highlight of the book was when he describes winning the Tour de France after he'd beaten the cancer. Whether I have the same single minded focus of a professional athlete, I do not know, but I do need to develop the singleness of purpose to overcome the cancer. Sarah thinks I have because I'm a lawyer! I can see many arguments but I won't go into that!

I am also trying to keep my sense of humour. One thing that I find very difficult to deal with is the expression on people's faces when they find out I have cancer. I invariably try and lighten the mood with the sense of humour. That works for me and it works for most other people, although it does seem to me sometimes that I am comforting them, not the other way around!

I am strengthened by the incredible expressions of support I am receiving, both on this site and in other ways. People I haven't seen for years are getting in touch with me. My family and friends are supportive. My wife Sarah is an absolute rock, she is always there for me and is total strength.

The Macmillan Nurse also came to see me for the first time yesterday. I had been referred to them by my friend's wife herself a Cancer Counsellor. Her and her husband have been very supportive. The Macmillan nurse was very helpful. I now have a contact within the Health Service that I can get in touch with for help and advice at any time. Her greatest contribution so far has been to put my medication in order as I was getting a bit confused with dosage.

My family and my many other friends have also been supportive in different ways. Some have offered to cook on a regular basis for us, others have offered to look after our parrots and others have just offered their unconditional help.

I'm off to kick this cancer into touch. I'll be back!