Cancer, it's something that is talked about in hushed voices. Unless you've had to learn about it, I doubt it's something that you've ever really thought about. It's certainly something that I've never really thought too much about until recently.

Unfortunately now, I find myself emersed in all this new jargon, this vile world of doubt, but also this world of hope, belief and blind faith. I have found it helpful, if a little scary to find out more. I have outlined below links which have lots of information about cancer, the good, the bad and the downright ugly. Not all the sites are english, but that doesn't really matter.

http://www.macmillan.org.uk/  This organisation is wonderful, as well as providing a lot of information, they also have a number that you can call, to discuss your feelings, worries, or just to find out more information.   Their free phone number for the UK is 08000 898 500.

http://www.cancer.net/Cancer/cancer.html  An American site with lots of helpful information.

http://www.roycastle.org/  If you're of a certain age, you'll know who Roy was, a wonderful man who has managed even after his own death to bring about a real change to the lives of many others.  Again there's a lot of useful information, so do check it out.

http://www.cancerhelp.org.uk/default.asp  Cancer Research's website - all the information you could ever need and more.
 
http://www.livestrong.org/site/c.khLXK1PxHmF/b.2660611/k.BCED/Home.htm This is a truely inspirational site.  If you haven't read Lance Armstrong's book, dash out and get it now.  Lance talks about his journey through cancer and how he has used his experiences to help others.

I am wading through other books at the moment, but I have found these links really most helpful.

Whilst I like to learn about new things, I feel quite ashamed that I am having to learn about something that could affect any of us. 

I guess you could say that the story started back in December. A couple of colds, nothing that wasn't expected for the time of year, but a bad cough had taken hold.

I'd recently completed a fantastic photography course, a present from my Wife, Sarah and we were going out with the Photographer that I had done the course with, to celebrate my achievements on the course. I wasn't going to miss that just for a cough! We were driving to meet our friends when I started coughing and couldn't stop, I coughed and coughed then all of a sudden, I felt a "ping" sensation in my chest - I was in agony. I couldn't move my left arm very well, I had terrific pains in my chest and felt absolutely terrible. Looking back, I'm not sure why we carried on, but we did. We went out that evening and I struggled, I couldn't even reach for the poppadoms on the table without being gripped by pain - even laughing was and talking was an effort! Sarah was concerned but I don't think she realised quite how bad it was.

At the end of the evening we dashed off to the local community hospital, rather than going to the main A&E in the city. We thought we'd get seen quicker that way. They checked my heart as they were concerned because I had pains in my chest - my ECG was clear. I was given a couple of pain killers, patted on the head and sent home and told to go to the doctors if it didn't get better.

That was mid December. By the end of December the pain hadn't really got any better so I bit the bullet and went to the A&E in the city. They gave me a thorough examination and decided that I had more than likely injured my costal cartillage and torn a pectoral muscle. I wasn't 100% sure what the costal cartillage was, so I spent a little time looking through some medical books which we have to find out.

I was told that I'd be in pain for a little while, but I was given anti-inflammatory pills which seemed to help. I was grateful that it was nothing more serious and went home feeling more reassured.

To cut a long story short, the pain continued and was brought to a head whilst I was on holiday in early February. I lost my voice early in the holiday for what to me seemed to be no apparent reason. We'd been out and had a good day skiing and generally relaxing but had come back to the Condo early because of heavy winds. We'd been in the condo for about an hour when I started to feel quite poorly. The pain was getting much worse and I began to feel dizzy and sick and eventually fainted.

I was taken to hospital by the very efficient Canadian emergency services who concluded that because of my low heart rate and at the time, very low blood pressure that it was my heart. They recommended I see a cardiologist on my return home.

I saw the Cardiologist who was quite satisfied that there was nothing wrong with my heart but wanted to investigate why the pain was there and what was going off with it. When the x-ray pictures, the bone scans and blood test results were available, the cardiologist called me back for my results. No one could have prepared me for what we were to hear next.

He said the x-rays appeared to him to show evidence of bone cancer. He there and then arranged for me to see one of his colleagues, a Radiologist/Oncologist that evening. We were in total shock. The radiologist confirmed the opinion of bone cancer. He then went on to examine me and also to pass on even more bad news. He thought that my loss of voice was perhaps connected to a possible cancer on my lungs.

The specialist was really kind, whilst being brutually honest, some of what he was saying went in, other bits of what he was saying drifted over my head. Essentially all I heard was more tests, cancer, more tests, cancer. Life as Sarah and I knew it would never be the same again.

The next 10 days saw me having more needles being stuck in me than I could ever remember, having more x-rays, scans and ultrasounds than I could ever have dreamt of and this was only the beginning.